You Won't Believe This, But If You Do, You're an Idiot
Today we are doing an episode of “when stupid gets stupider.” A North Carolina man who fired an AR-15 rifle inside a pizza restaurant in Washington, D.C., last year as he was "investigating" a baseless conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton running a child sex ring out of a pizza parlor has been sentenced to four years in prison. First of all we all know that you run a child sex ring out of a Chuck E Cheese. That was his first mistake. Supposedly this man heard about a satanic child sex ring, let me be clear it wasn't satanic children as they would probably start their own sex ring, by the way sex ring is also my default setting on my iPhone. When I get a call it goes “Uhhh Uhhhhhh uhhhh.”
So this amazing dumb ass read and heard ON THE INTERNET about Comet Ping pong in DC, where satanists were selling children for sex. So instead of calling the cops, or the FBI, he decided to take it on himself. He also asked a few friends to help him. How did that conversation go?
“You guys see the game this weekend?”
“Yep, pretty good”
“You guys want to go shoot up a bunch of Satanistic child molesters at a pizza parlor?”
Here is where the awkward pause and the loss of friends goes.
By the way the guy got sentenced to four years in prison. Stupid has become an epidemic in the world and this guy is a carrier for a deadly strain of idiocy. Again, be clear he heard Alex Jones show on the internet that people that worshipped Satan were running a child prostitution ring out of a pizza parlor in our nations capitol AND it was masterminded by then presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. At best that’s a mid level Adam Sandler movie.
Who were this guys parents? How dumb were his friends that they hung out with this guy. How would you even come up with this insane idea. Alex Jones. That’s right Alex “monkey brain” Jones promoted this story and Edgar Maddeson acted on it. Lets be clear at how stupid we have become. People listen to Alex Jones. Alex Jones is famous for constantly lying and making up stories that a child that believes in Santa would call bullshit on. Spoiler alert there is no Santa, sorry. Santa is your parents or in extreme cases the man that sleeps with mommy. You call him Uncle Mike.
Now Alex jones is the most full of feces fat guy I have ever heard in my life. I can’t trust a guy that can’t manage his caloric intake. Oh by the way he makes his ad money selling dietary supplements. Would you buy dietary supplements from a fat guy? If the answer is “Yes,” then you are so stupid you cant face the fact that you’re so stupid. Here are Alex Jones top five conspiracies 911 was a hoax, caused by governments to enslave the world. Well that didn’t work. Homosexuality is caused by the government, Have you seen the old fat white men in our government? They could make Anderson Cooper switch to a syphilitic crack whore. Is crack whore one or two words. Sandy Hook and other school shootings were false flag events. This just makes me want to punch him in his silly putty face, Obama is the global head of al queda. And Oprah obviously runs Isis The new world Order.
Jones thinks the people in power are set to eliminate 80% of the world population. Hmm. Honestly if it’s people like Edgar Maddsen and Alex Jones and all you idiots who listen to this charlatan. I think it’s a plan. No idiots and no Alex Jones? That’s a planet I want to live on. I’m Christopher Titus and this is the armageddon update.